An open love letter to the boss of my mom’s aide

My name is Sandwiched, and my mom is a resident in the senior apartments at the North campus. I’ve heard rumblings in the last few days that my mom’s all-time favorite aide, J, may no longer be with the nursing program. I’m hoping it’s just a vicious rumor.

My mom was one of the first people to sign up for the community nursing program, and it has been a huge help to her, and to me. Before that program, either I would have to be on hand to help Mom out (several times a week, while trying to juggle a job and a young family of my own), or for a while she had hired some help from Home Instead. They hardly ever sent the same person twice, so we’d have to keep getting the new people up to speed on Mom’s needs.

The community nursing program started, and it was quite literally a Godsend: complete with Mom’s very own angel, J. If at all possible, J took better care of my Mom than my sister and I did. My sister and I would always end up getting annoyed with Mom, or getting into a typical mother-daughter spat. Not with J…she and my mom would spend the entire time giggling like schoolgirls.

For years before she moved into the building, doctors had been trying to get that woman to exercise. It never happened. At least, not until J started doing an exercise class for the residents. It was a blast! Mom attended faithfully for a good long while…well, longer than anyone else had ever gotten her to exercise, anyway.

Whenever I had to leave town, I felt at peace knowing that J would check in on her while I was gone, whether she was on-duty or not. If my sister or I couldn’t be watching out for her, J was like the third sister we never had. We knew she had Mom’s back.

Sadly, J’s schedule changed, and Mom was taken off J’s rotation. But she still continued to come by and check on her whenever she could. In the meantime, another aide was assigned. She handles the basics, but she’s no J…and to top it off, whenever the new aide does Mom’s laundry (weekly), she never dries it completely. Just brings it back wet and lays it all over Mom’s apartment to dry.

J is a wonderful representative for your company, and I’m hoping you’d never let an employee of her caliber leave without a fight. She’s like family to us…I’m hoping you’ll treat her as an important part of yours.

Thank you for your time,

Sandwiched

UPDATE: J had quit over being denied a benefit she had been promised. As I wrote the letter on her behalf, they made her an offer to come back, and she accepted. Yay!

WFMW: Getting rid of fruit flies

Here’s a relatively painless way to get rid of fruit flies in your kitchen:

1. Fill a small container with apple cider vinegar.
2. Cover container with clear plastic wrap.
3. Poke a few small holes in the plastic wrap.
4. Wait for the fruit flies to become trapped and drown.
5. Empty and repeat as necessary.

The fruit flies find their way in, but can’t get out. It also helps if you make sure your kitchen is free of any sticky, fruity spills.

For more great ideas, check out this week’s Works for Me Wednesday; it’s a themed cleaning edition!

You catch more FRUIT flies with vinegar!

Squeezed tight

I’m feelin’ the sandwich squeeze this week.

On Sunday, we did a 5K at our local zoo. It worked out great! We brought both kids (ages 5 & 8), and though Little Sis needed to take a few shortcuts, both kids made it through the whole walk. They dragged their weary butts across the finish line, and we retired to the car. The kids were ready to go home (it was only 9:30 am), but Mr. Hoagie and I were planning to stay and take advantage of the free zoo admission.

After a granola bar and three minutes of sitting still, they were bouncing around the backseat and raring to go again.

Go figure.

We spent almost 3 more hours at the zoo, then stopped at Olive Garden for lunch. By the time we got home, Mr. Hoagie and I were wiped out because we’d gotten up at 5:45 am. We napped while the girls played quietly in their room.

When I woke up, it was time to address my weekly Sunday dinner with Mom. I try to get together with Mom for Sunday dinners most weeks; it’s the one day of the week that her dining room doesn’t serve dinner, so it’s a good excuse to get everyone together.

Mr. Hoagie wasn’t feeling well, so he didn’t join us for dinner at Eat n Park.

I felt guilty for taking everyone out to eat (the second time that day for most of us). I know it’s better for both our bodies and our wallets to eat home-cooked meals (something I used to loved to do; I was quite the foodie before Mom moved into town), but I had no groceries and no energy, so…here we were.

Again (can you tell this happens more than it should?).

On Monday, I was focused. I was up at 5:00 am to go to the gym. Home again by 6:30 am, tagged Mr. Hoagie on his way out the door, and off to get a shower and get the kids ready for school.

Big Sis was a mess that morning. I started waking her up at 7:00 am; by 7:35, she was still in bed. And NOT happy. She pretty much had a full-blown tantrum all the way through 8:15 am. She couldn’t even eat breakfast at home, she was so upset, so I took her to the bus stop and told her she’d have to eat breakfast at school. Even the other parents at the bus stop could tell she wasn’t herself.

Kids were on the bus by 8:25 am, and I was at the post office by 8:30 am. Hit the ground running at work. Staff meeting at 10:00 am, so that meant that I didn’t have time to finish everything I needed to before I left to pick up Little Sis from kindergarten.

We had to come back to the office for a while. Which meant that I didn’t have time (or energy) to go grocery shopping for us and for Mom. And I DESPERATELY needed to. But I couldn’t make it through the store, deliver Mom’s groceries, and get home by the time Big Sis got off the school bus.

So I went home and did two loads of laundry.

By late afternoon, I was tired, cranky, and feeling thoroughly put-upon.

I made it to my Weight Watchers meeting (first time in weeks!), then ran to the office supply store for something for work, and the pet store because Mr. Hoagie announced that we were out of cat food (this morning, he found a bag in our storage room. *sigh*).

That cranky, put-upon feeling lasted through Tuesday morning, when I hit the snooze bar as my alarm went off again at 5:00 am. So much for my healthy streak.

I awoke to find Big Sis in the bathroom with intestinal issues. I’ve had to keep her home from school Monday and today.

And I had to call 10 (TEN!) different people to find someone to cover for me at work today.

And Mom and I STILL don’t have groceries.

There’s dance class tonight AND Girl Scouts. And then I should stop into work to see how things are going…at 8:00 pm. Ugh.

In the meantime, I feel I’m a failure as a mom, employee, housekeeper and chef.

Save me.

I’m back, baby!

Well, I’m back.

It’s been a crazy month. We came home from our cruise in August via Chicago, and days later, school began.

Big Sis is now a 3rd grader, and Little Sis started kindergarten.

And the day before school started, I started my new job.

Overall, I love it. The work is comfortable and familiar, and I love feeling useful and needed. It’s nice to be able to cross things off a to-do list and leave the building knowing I accomplished something.

The official office hours are supposed to be 9 am to 12 noon, but I usually arrive about 8:30 am just after I put the girls on the bus. I duck out about 11:45 am to pick up Little Sis. If the office is quiet, we’ll go home for lunch and I’ll do some laundry and cleaning. If we don’t go home, I might take Little Sis out for a quick lunch and out to run errands. If the office is busy, I can bring Little Sis back with me and set her up in the next room with some quiet activities and maybe a DVD or PBS Kids.

Life is busier, but so far, it’s a good busy. Before I started the job, I truly had no idea where the extra three hours a day was going to come from. But somehow, the Lord provides, and it’s all worked out okay so far. I don’t get to spend as much time with Chiquita, though. Instead of taking her to the doctor and out to lunch, for instance, we just hit the doctor’s office and head back home. The basics are getting covered, though. And even though she had a fall last week (thanks, Phillips Lifeline!), she’s in good health (well, for HER, anyway).

Regular exercise hasn’t made it back into the routine yet, but that wasn’t happening even before I started the new job. I did make a truly valiant effort to make it to the gym before Mr. Hoagie left for work each day, but that lasted all of a week before I got thrown off by Mr. Hoagie having to go into work early.

Oh yeah…and blogging isn’t routine again yet. Obviously. But I’m working on it!

WFMW: Flylady

This is a repost from a while back. I’m still struggling coming back from vacation, and staring into the gaping maw of school AND my new job starting next week. Not sure how it’s all gonna go, but I know that I’ll need Flylady more than ever!

I’m sure a lot of people already know about Flylady. I first heard about her from my in-laws. My father-in-law was “encouraging” my mother-in-law to adopt some of her habits. (Which is ironic, because she does ALL the housework singlehandedly just fine, while her husband critiques her.)

Anyway, when I got home, I checked out the website and signed on. I’ve been “fluttering” along, off and on, ever since. I started fluttering a bit harder after hearing that one of my neighbors was a Flybaby too.

The great part is that you’re only asked to do what you can, when you can. Very slowly, I’ve learned to build habits. I “swish and swipe” my bathrooms, not everyday yet, but maybe three days a week, which still makes a big difference! I now do a load of laundry (almost) everyday. (Of course, that was partially instilled by the fact that our dryer died and we had to use the clothesline for about 2 weeks.)

Basically, housework feels like a lot less of an emergency. Which is a HUGE relief. I can see the tops of my kitchen table and counters a lot more often.

With each habit I acquire, I acquire that much more PEACE.

Peace TOTALLY works for me.

For more ideas that work, check out Works for me Wednesday at We Are THAT Family.

Vay-cay!

Ahhhhh...

You may be wondering where I’ve been.

Or not.

Well, I’ve been on a lovely little vacation. Much needed.

And this one was a REAL vacation. Which means that we did not bring Chiquita, NOR the kids. The whole idea was that I needed a break from taking care of other people.

It all came together when we got an invite to a family wedding. Plus my in-laws had been hounding us to let them have the girls for a week this summer. Add to that the fact that I was starting to fantasize about running away someplace tropical and never coming back, and an idea was born.

We had planned to do a cruise to celebrate our 10-year wedding anniversary, but it never quite happened. A week in August opened up, and we started jumping through some hoops to make it happen.

We started with the wedding date. We checked the availability of cruises before and after the wedding. We came up with one before that worked out well. The only problem was that my sister had already booked a plane ticket to come see us that weekend.

Hmmmm….

So I talked her into flying out, putting the girls in our minivan, and driving them to Chicago. Piece of cake. (They made it in 8 hours flat, thanks to the promise of a new episode of Wizards of Waverly Place upon a timely arrival.)

But our flight left two hours before my sister’s arrived! Now what?

I arranged a sleepover with our next door neighbors. The girls came home Saturday morning, visited Chiquita for a bit, and drove all afternoon and evening.

My sister kept them the next day, taking them swimming and generally spoiling them rotten. She delivered them to my in-laws Sunday night. All day Monday and Tuesday, Mr. Hoagie’s brother took them to museums, shows and movies and generally spoiling them rotten. Wednesday and Thursday, Mr. Hoagie’s parents hung out with them, taking them swimming, rock climbing, bowling and generally spoiling them rotten.

In the meantime, Mr. Hoagie and I enjoyed this cruise. I’ll post more details soon; I have lots of pics, too!

In other news, I just got a job! It’s part-time and starts next week, as does school. So bear with me as I figure out my new responsibilities and schedule. I may be posting intermittently for a while.

It feels good to be back.

Kinda.

Kath’s Four-Day Win: Chapter 1

This post was originally posted at my new faith-based weight-loss blog: So Help Me, God… Come by and visit!

Oh, Martha. How I love thee. She cuts right to the chase:

“WHY ARE YOU SO DAMN FAT?”

Oh, right. Eat less, move more.

Honey, if ONLY it were that easy. I know all the right things to eat. I KNOW all the right exercises to do.

It was a couple of years ago, just before I picked up this book, that I had an epiphany of sorts: It’s all in your head.

Or my head…you know what I mean.

Not that I knew what to do with this piece of wisdom. I knew it HAD to be something mental or psychological tripping me up, because…darn it, I knew I had all the OTHER pieces of the puzzle.

“Why are you so damn fat?” posits Martha. “…Because of the way you think.”

Cue lightbulb. Aha!

She goes on to say:

“It turns out that certain ways of thinking can literally change the structure of the brain, for example, in ways that make it less prone to craving and more prone to happiness. The implications for weight loss are huge.”

I have actually noticed this in my life. During times of decreased stress, my weight is lower. Aha!

Okay, Martha…I’m with you. What next?

Jump-Start: An “early win…will help motivate you to continue on the program. The first 4 days of your weight loss routine will be the most difficult. After that, you’ll experience an accelerating increase in motivation and success.”

Boy, that sure sounds good. Four days, huh? I bet I could do that.

“If you think this means the 4-Day Win will give you more willpower, you’re wrong; it will just help you need less.”

Wait…what? Isn’t that…CHEATING?

Isn’t the whole GOAL of a diet to beat yourself into submission? It doesn’t COUNT if it’s EASY.

Or…does it?

And get this:

“Each step on the 4-Day Win program will enhance your entire existence, not just improve your body. Losing weight and keeping it off requires that you live an unusually authentic, fulfilling life. I believe it’s the mother of all psychological challenges, more difficult than kicking heroin, more delicate than surgery.”

And so the exercise for this chapter is to Open Myself to Hope. Not easy…on the weight-loss front; I’m pretty jaded. Been there, done it, gained it, lost it…over and over again.

“I’d simply like you to open yourself to the possibility that, no matter what you weigh, there is nothing basically wrong with you.”

“The biggest payoff from following the 4-Day Win is the self-evident experience of the fact that none of your pain has been pointless, and no part of your life has been wasted—not one moment.”

I hope you’re right, Martha.

Let’s do this thing.

The Tooth, the Whole Tooth, and Nothing But the Tooth

Well, it’s finally done. Big Sis’ tooth is out.

This is one of the ones that was discovered to have a cavity the first week of June. We came back a couple of days later and had it filled.

A week and a half later, it was still bothering her. They took x-rays again, and discovered that they hadn’t drilled deep enough. She was sent home with an antibiotic and instructions to wiggle it (though they’d told me that this tooth doesn’t usually fall out until she’s 12).

Over the next couple of weeks, a large bump appeared on the side of her tooth. I took her back in to have it looked at. Sure enough, it was infected. The dentist told me it’s gotta come out…now. So they gave her a shot to numb the area and tried to extract it.

No go. She got nervous and jumpy. They called me back to try to soothe her. The dentist (and Big Sis) tried again, valiantly, but it wasn’t working. The tooth still hurt Big Sis, despite the painkiller; the dentist explained that it could be due to the infected tissue interfering with the medication. Again, another antibiotic and instructions to wiggle it.

We scheduled another appointment, apparently to try again. In the meantime, I asked the office for a referral to a pediatric dentist. After playing phone tag for a bit, I managed to get Big Sis an appointment on Tuesday.

He did an initial exam, and I filled him in on the ordeal. He agreed that it needed to come out, and that antibiotics were just a stopgap measure until the tooth, the source of the infection, could be removed. He squeezed un in for an appointment today.

We showed up at the office this morning, and a nurse took her back to give her an oral medication to help her relax. Then back to the waiting room for an hour to let the medication take effect. I thought it might make her sleepy or nauseous (like two other kids in the office that morning), but it only seemed to make her…relax. She was amenable to climbing up into my lap to hear me read Harry Potter, and I noticed she did become more chatty than usual.

Then we were called back. The hygenist (nurse?) put what she called an “airplane mask” on Big Sis to hook her up to “the dream machine” (nitrous oxide). She let that work for a while. She asked if Big Sis felt tingly or like she was floating (both signs that the nitrous oxide was working), and she answered no. It worried me a bit, but I hoped that eveyone knew what they were doing.

The dentist came in, and injected her gum to make the tooth “go to sleep.” He left while that medication started to work. Moments later, he returned and before Big Sis and I knew it, the tooth was out!

He finished up, clearing away infected tissue, and gave us discharge instructions: start with clear liquids, only soft foods today, no playing outside, resting only.

Big Sis plans to write a letter to the Tooth Fairy, asking her to let Big Sis keep the tooth as a souvenir.

I think she deserves it!

WFMW: Puffballs!

I’ve been struggling with how to handle chores at our house for a good long while now. But I finally have a system that works!

Puffballs!

Huh? You heard me.

You know, little crafty-type pom-poms? I award them to my children in exchange for chores. I bought two packages of the cutest, girliest pom-poms I could find and put them in a large drinking glass. That serves as the “bank.”

Then I took two smaller drinking glasses, labeled them with each child’s name, and started to fill them. They earn “puffballs” (as we call them) for performing chores. Making your bed, picking up toys, and setting the table are generally worth one puffball. Unloading the dishwasher—both racks—is worth two. Swishing and swiping (wiping down bathroom mirror, countertop, sink & toilet) is worth three puffballs.

If a chore is worth more to me that day, though (say, if Mommy’s TIRED) I might double its value.

I find that the morning starts more smoothly if I require the kids to earn three puffballs before they leave for school. I don’t quibble about WHICH chores they are, as long as they’re worth three puffballs. After school, I might ask them to earn a few more, depending on our schedule of after-school activities.

They can either redeem the puffballs for smaller rewards (for example, I decided last week that buying an ice cream bar from the ice cream truck would set them back six puffballs), or save up for a big one, like inviting a friend for a sleepover or their favorite, a date with Mom or Dad.

Last weekend, Big Sis took me on a date to Denny’s (where I won’t normally take the kids or my cardiac-patient mom because it’s just so UNHEALTHY), then to the movies to see G-Force, and finally to Dairy Queen for a sundae.

It works for the kids and for ME! For more great ideas, check out Works for Me Wednesday at We Are THAT Family.

Summer’s catching up to me

Summer’s catching up to me.

Life never really did slow down all that much after school let out. Maybe from 100 mph down to 70 mph.

You can tell by looking at my house. Disaster. I haven’t been enforcing chores much this summer, and it shows.

And over the weekend, we started stripping the wallpaper in the basement. Like we needed another project (though I do feel better that it’s started).

This week is a pretty quiet one, luckily. Today my goal is to clean my kitchen (including the fridge…ugh) and do as much laundry as humanly possible. I also need to grocery shop this week, probably twice.

I feel terrible, because I’ve been buying fresh food the last couple of weeks, and a lot of it had gone bad. Tossed out grape tomatoes, a moldy hamburger, frozen watermelon, sticky deli ham, moldy swiss cheese…and I think the turkey brats from two weeks ago look questionable.

Luckily, Mom has been in good health and good spirits. I think the Paula Deen autographed tee shirt helped! Also, we did take her to her favorite Mexican restaurant for lunch yesterday.

On top of all this, Big Sis needs to have her tooth pulled. We tried about a week and a half ago, but she wouldn’t have it. We’re scheduled to try again Wednesday, but if it doesn’t happen, we’ll need to take her to a pediatric dentist who can put her under.

In the blink of an eye, school’s gonna start up again….

Maybe it’s time to jump back in with Flylady!