I know it’s been pretty quiet around here lately.
There are a couple reasons for that.
First of all, I’ve been sucked back into “real life.” Mom has taken up so much of my time and attention that I’ve had to let other things (like blogging) slide.
And secondly, I find myself not posting here because, quite frankly, I’ve had enough of being “sandwiched.” I live it every day. It’s often not fun. So why would I want to spend my free time rehashing it?
It’s not that I haven’t had enough material. Wanna hear about the time my mom’s teeth got pulled and she drooled blood all afternoon? How about the day that the PET scan of her lung came back “hot”?
I started this blog as a way to help myself (and hopefully, others) cope with the stress of living in the sandwich generation. At first, writing these posts with a humorous spin was a good way to remind myself to see the humor in life, to see how ridiculous I was being at times.
Now…it’s old hat.
I don’t want to focus on the aspect of my life that keeps me tied down to…let’s face it: Mom’s inevitable death. Yes, I still have those responsibilities, and I will for the foreseeable future, but if I DEFINE myself by those responsibilities, I’ll be ready to slash my wrists before lunch (and I really can’t afford to do that today, because Mom had a dentist’s appointment before lunch, and two doctors’ appointments after lunch).
Maybe it’s time for this blog to change. I’ve considered the possibility of merging it with my other blog. Both of them have been somewhat neglected (out of necessity), but maybe if I throw them in together…
Anyway, these are thoughts for another day. I have three appointments to get my mom to today.
A quick update on Mom:
We’re still marching toward a kidney transplant, but we may have hit a bump. They spotted something on Mom’s chest x-ray and ordered a CT scan and a PET scan (which came back “hot,” apparently meaning that it’s NOT not cancer). We have an appointment with a surgical oncologist on Thursday; from what I read, the next step may be a biopsy. Meanwhile, logistically, I’ve been running her to 3-5 doctors’ appointments a week. And on one frazzled day when I casually mentioned that if there was a day I was unavailable, she could get a ride from the transportation department at her building, she snapped at me, saying that if that happened, it would mean that I’d given up on her. Which is SO not true, but it was the first time in months that she’s given any indication that all of this is getting to her, too.
I’ve been encouraging Mom to schedule her last couple of tests: a mammogram and a colonoscopy, but she wanted to wait to see what was going on with her lung. Ironic that she doesn’t want to get her cancer screenings done because she might HAVE CANCER. Do you see what I’m dealing with here, people?
I’m out. Please to leave encouraging comments.