By the Numbers

There’s been a lot going on lately. I know I owe you all a blog post, so in the words of Inigo Montoya from one of my all-time favorite movies, The Princess Bride:

Let me ‘splain.
No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

In the last 48 hours, I have:

  • made 1 trip to the drugstore
  • made 1 trip to the ATM
  • made 1 trip to the ICU to visit Mom
  • Paid the hospital parking garage $4 ($1 for the ICU visit, plus the $3 I was short the night before when Mom was in the ER)
  • packed 6 snacks for 2 kids
  • bought 4 snacks for 2 kids
  • made 6 phone calls to the hospital
  • recieved 2 calls from the hospital
  • purchased 3 meals at 3 different fast-food restaurants
  • purchased 2 iced coffees at McDonald’s
  • purchased 400 minutes for my cell phone
  • made 2 separate trips in 2 days to have 4 cavities filled in Big Sis’ mouth
  • listened to 2 bloodcurdling screams from the dentist’s waiting room
  • taken 2 children to 3 different dance lessons
  • demanded replacement of 1 pair of faulty new tap shoes (a tap fell off after first 15 minutes of lesson)
  • taken 2 children to 2 (concurrent, thank GOODNESS) swimming lessons
  • taken 2 children to pick about 5 pounds of strawberries
  • spent $80 on the berries and a few other “sundry” items
  • read aloud 4 chapters of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
  • cradled 1 sleeping child in my lap for 1 hour
  • collected 4 loads of “wet bed” laundry, none of which I’ve had time to wash
  • made 2 breakfasts (one for here, one to go)
  • made 1 lunch for 2 children using 2 cans of tuna, one dollop of Miracle Whip and 4 slices of organic whole wheat bread and 2 bunches of grapes
  • made 2 sit-down-at-the-kitchen-table dinners (including 4 items acquired through Schwan’s) YAY ME!
  • endured 2 downpours in my kitchen (that’s 1 way to clean the kitchen floor)
  • flipped through 4 different magazines
  • attempted to read 1 “grown-up” book
  • written 9 tweets
  • endured countless whines of “What can I DO?” (the equivalent in our house of “Mom, I’m bored.”)
  • enjoyed 2 episodes each of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report on
  • slept for 13 hours
  • exercised for 0 minutes
  • counted 0 Points or calories

About Kathleen

Kathleen Heuer is a serial arts advocate and volunteer. She is the mom of two beautiful girls, wife to a brilliant nuclear engineer, and referee between her golden retriever and her hissy 18-year-old cat. For more, go to
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3 Responses to By the Numbers

  1. Joe says:

    Wow, Kath. I think you need a superheros cape. I don’t know how you do it. You didn’t mention watching the world’s worst tv show, next to Reba, “I am a celebrity get me out of here!”. If you can endure that you get special place in heaven on top of everything else you do.

    Give my best to all.

  2. fran says:

    about the berries: scrape mold carefully not to toss any berry and like you eluded to – enjoy!

  3. Beq says:

    It has been a very busy week. My favorite part was the reference to Princess Bride – totally appropriate use of that clip. You made me laugh!

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