Oh, crabby day

I woke up this morning VERY crabby. I had stayed up until 1:00 am, for no good reason other than I wanted the TV to myself, thankyouverymuch. The kids had climbed into bed and were laying on me, fighting over me. My husband was downright chipper this morning, singing to the kids as he got dressed.

People, it’s only 6:30 am. ‘Kay???

Eventually, the noisy people left and I dozed off again, splayed in the middle of the bed (because I could). Until I heard this:

“Mommy, it’s your turn to WIPE MY BUH-UTT!”


After a couple of sleepy, half-hearted attempts to convince Little Sis to try on her own, I groggily stagger to the bathroom. I crabbily grab the box of Kandoo wipes (As if! Apparently she KAN’TDOO it on her own), pull one out, send two more flying across the room, and wipe and fold, wipe and fold, wipe and fold.

“There. Clean as a whistle.”

She disappears (hopefully to get dressed), and I hear Big Sis call up the stairs. “Mom, can I watch TV?”

Now, until recently, the rule in our house has been no TV before school, period. Until one day when I was running behind and offered TV as a carrot to Big Sis if she would help Little Sis get dressed for school. To my amazement, both of them moved faster than I’d ever seen before 8 am, and I had two kids dressed to shoes and breakfasted an entire 45 minutes before we usually leave the house. Amazing.

“Are you dressed?”


“To shoes?”


“Is your sister?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Okay,” I grunted, knowing full well that she probably hadn’t gotten everything done (Ah, foreshadowing). I left to take a shower.

I arrived downstairs twenty minutes later and proceeded to cut the brownies Little Sis was bringing for her preschool birthday snack. “It’s almost 8 o’clock,” I chimed.

The kids finished watching The Mr. Men Show, and proceeded to start Wizards of Waverly Place. AFTER they’d been warned about the time.

That’s when I mentally checked out. If they didn’t care about being late for school, why should I?

I continued getting ready, but dialed down my normally frantic pace. Soon Big Sis looked at the clock. “Mom, we’re late!” she wailed. Ah, a chip off the old block. She shares my propensity for panic.

Long story short (I know, too late for that!!), we leave for school arguing over whether Big Sis should take the bus (her choice) or be dropped off (mine) so that I can take Little Sis’ snack to her classroom (and check the sign-up sheet for the end of the year picnic). We’ve remembered the brownies, a half-gallon of milk, and Big Sis’ backpack, and forgotten Little Sis’ backpack and Big Sis’ show-and-tell item.

I drop off Little Sis at preschool without walking her in (grr!), and drop Big Sis at the bus stop, where I passive-aggressively wave at Big Sis without actually turning around to look at her.

It’s only 8:30 am…the day is early.

Did I mention that I get to take Mom to the doctor this afternoon?



About Kathleen

Kathleen Heuer is a serial arts advocate and volunteer. She is the mom of two beautiful girls, wife to a brilliant nuclear engineer, and referee between her golden retriever and her hissy 18-year-old cat. For more, go to http://about.me/kathleendheuer.
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